Sunday, December 18, 2011

Lord it's just her time to die.

I did not get much sleep last night.
In midst of dream, I heard her cry.
I called her name into the dark,
but all she did was cry and cry.
From warmth of bed and blankets
I went into the hall to find
the cause of the repeated calls.
My lovely, sweet and gentle cat
who I have known most of my life
was writhing, clawing across the ground.
She cried. She cried. She cried.
I tried to pet her gently, ask
"What is it girl? hush, please hush."
But all she did was cry and cry.
Her back legs would not hold her weight,
she flopped her body left to right
and clawed the carpet, crawling as
a soldier would in battle-zone.
Eventually she stopped so I
could scratch her head, while my heart broke.
I realized she sought to hide
somewhere dark with peace to die.
I did not know what troubled her,
legs paralyzed or body pains.
All I knew was that she cried.
She could not become comfortable,
she scratched my hand and left a mark.
I did not care, she is my baby,
my baby seeking where to die.
I could not take it, the dam had broke
behind my eyes, I joined her cry.
I went into my room and sat.

"What can we bequeath save 
our deposed bodies to the ground?
...And nothing can we call our own but death
and that small model of the barren earth
which serves as paste and cover to our bones."

The cat insisted stay with me,
she fought her way into my room
and crawled beneath my bed where I
could hear her painful struggle, cry.
I guess there's no more sleep tonight.
Eventually she crawled back out
and I reached down to pick her up.
I cradled her in my warm arms
as father would his baby in his arms.
I took her to the living room
and built a fire to keep her warm.
My broken heart did shatter more,
when she began to purr. 
I know this tortured death
could take some days, a week to come.
But I won't sleep, I'll comfort her
and pray to God to stop the purr.
Oh lord, please give her peace and rest.
Do take her soul into your house,
please save her from this pain.
For she is old and weak; and I 
know that it's just her time.
Lord, it's just her time to die.

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